Environment jokes
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Save the plants, eat a vegan.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.