To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
There’s 4 billion women on earth Why isn’t it clean yet?
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
