Environment jokes
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Memes
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.