Conservation jokes
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.