Sustainability jokes

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

What is the difference between white people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.

When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.

When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

It was a failure because:

South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

Africans don’t know the word “food.”

Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.