Jesus

Anonymous

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

Guy

Anonymous

What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

Astronaut

Daniel King

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Moon

Jacob

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a “day”.

Push

Anonymous

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Toilet Paper

Anonymous

I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper because a huge rock is headed towards earth and paper covers rock

Rock

Daniel King

Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?

Because it’s a little meteor.

Fat

Anonymous

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

Puns

SERENITY

i love the way the earth rotates

it really makes my day

Difference

Anonymous

Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.

Fat

Anonymous

You’re so fat astronomers discovered a planet larger than earth but smaller than Uranus

People

RIP JUICE WRLD

Vegans:Save the Earth Normal People:Were trying to but you guys keep eating it

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between the snow boots on the earth day today after dinner and walk home

School

Stephanie

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠 I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your birthday 🎁 I did

Planet

Daniel King

Why is a moon 🌕 rock tastier than an earth 🌍 rock?

Because it’s a little meteor.

Puns

Mr.Cringe

Why is it so hard to make a party on earth? Because you need to Planet.

Stand

if you dislike your gay

What does the Bible stand for? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Doctor

sally

why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake

Sun

deagan

what did the sun say to the earth am i hot

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