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Puns

Rick

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

Tree

Anonymous

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

Puns

Talory

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

Red

ashyondamemekinglaquiva

what’s green then red all over and goes 100mph?

a frog in a blender

People

Anonymous

Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

Baby

Joseph W.

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

Grass

Anonymous

Roses are red Grass is green I think of you sucking my peen

Difference

steph3n show

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Baby

Anonymous

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite

Difference

Ahhaha

What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

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Little Johnny

U make me barf

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

Smell

Anonymous

What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

Singing

-

whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

White

Cookie

What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

Legs

Anonymous

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

Lie

John Doe

What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

Smell

Bignig

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

Girl

BOY SCOUT

what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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