Green Jokes


Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

in Puns

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.


What’s red and green and go’s 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender…


What’s Red,Green and goes 90 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

Ms Graves
in Offensive

What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger

in Puns

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing


What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

in Adult

What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite




what’s green then red all over and goes 100mph?

a frog in a blender


What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.


Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?”

“Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”

Joseph W.

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later


what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car


whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!


Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

in Venom

Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. “Doctor, I’m not feeling well” the man complains. " Well, it’s no wonder" The Doctor replies " You’re not eating right"

steph3n show

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!


What is red and green and goes 100 miles per-hour? A frog in a blender.

in Priest

what terns green purple and white? A chameleon