Environment jokes
You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Animals are just... so hot!
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."