Climate Change jokes

What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.

A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.

My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.

How is there evidence of climate change?

The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!

Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?

He saw the climate change.

You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

NASA found water on Mars.

Mars - 1

Africa - 0

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.