Diet jokes
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Memes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.