Diet jokes
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Memes
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.