Diet jokes
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.