Diet jokes
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.