Diet jokes
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
I breathe in African food.