Diet jokes
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
What do penguins đ§ eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Memes
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because theyâre used to having nuts in their mouth.
Eat cockroaches.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
I eat cockroaches.
Whatâs big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didnât want to start beef, heâs VEGAN.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Robert doesnât see people, the man just sees meals.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.