Diet

Diet jokes

Scientist

    • I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.

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    • Diet memes

    Mom

    • Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

    Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

    Sister

    • A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

    Door

    • Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

    When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

    When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."

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    • Butter

    • Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

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    • Migraine

    • Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

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