Sugar jokes
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"