Sugar jokes
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow? So it could have sweet dreams.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!