Sugar

Sugar Jokes

Friend

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.

Man

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

Drunk

Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

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  • Plum

    Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

    So it could have sweet dreams.

    Johnny

    Johnny Johnny?

    Yes pa pa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

  • 0
  • Tea

    I like my people how I like my tea...

    In a bag under water.

    Dream

    I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...

    she died the next morning.

    Girl

    Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?

    She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

    Honey

    Pass me the sugar, Sugar!

    Pass me the honey, Honey!

    Pass me the teabag!

    Mom

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

    Bear

    Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.

    What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

    Cannibal

    Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

    Cock

    D: Johnny, Johnny.

    J: Yes, Papa?

    D: Eating sugar?

    J: No, Papa!

    D: Telling lies?

    J: No, Papa!

    D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

    Diabetes

    I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"