Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.
Q: Why was the tower of pisa leaning? A: because it had better reflexes than the twin towers
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Ya dads a cunt
