Dark Humor

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?

A: A tater tot.

When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.

What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?

He didn't open it yet.

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.

Bros over hos.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."