Dark Humor

Dark Humor

(The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone is gathered for an emergency meeting.)

CHARLIE: Okay, everyone, listen up! There's a new group of souls coming in who passed away in a school shooting! We have to be sensitive!

VAGGIE: (Scoffs) Good luck with that.

ANGEL: (Waving a hand nonchalantly) No problem, Charlie! I’m great with kids who have issues. My advice to them would be, “Don't be in school.”

(A beat of stunned silence falls over the room. Everyone just stares at him.)

ANGEL: (He blinks, looking genuinely confused at the silence.) Wait.

(Alastor lets out a loud, static-filled laugh.)

HUSK: (Deadpan, taking a huge drink) Too soon, Angel. Too soon.

A DAY IN THE HAZBIN HOTEL

[The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Angel is doing his makeup; Husk is passed out at the bar.]

Alastor: (Appears with a blender and a jar of red liquid) Merely ensuring fresh provisions.

Angel: Margaritas?

Vaggie: (Entering, suspicious) What is that?

Alastor: A certain Sir lost his fizz.

(Alastor turns on the unsecured blender. Red goo sprays everywhere, coating Vaggie, Charlie, and the walls.)

Vaggie: (Screaming, covered) You got Sir Pentious all over my wings!

Charlie: That's not a smoothie!

Angel: (Snapping a photo) Looks like someone’s career just got blended!

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  • Orphan

    What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

    A surprise adoption.

    Twin Towers

    What did the mom say to the twins?

    "Go crash a plane!"

    Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?

    A: A rapist.

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  • Pedophile

    What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

    Air has resistance.

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  • Orphan

    What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

    At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.

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  • Emo

    What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

    A good start.

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  • Orphan

    Why did the orphan go to church?

    It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

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  • Vegetable

    When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.

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  • Twin Towers

    How do terrorists feed their kids?

    "Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

    Twin Towers

    Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

    But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

    9/11 jokes

    Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.

    Twin Towers

    How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

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  • Twin Towers

    How do terrorists feed their children?

    Here comes the airplane.

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  • 9/11 jokes

    Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.

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