Wife

YupIAteYourCakeAllToMe

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”

Puns

Anonymous

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

Name

no name

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell Shocked

Die

doowop

I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died… from an autopsy

Puns

Anonymous

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

Sister

John Frank

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Kick

Democravid McNosettehall

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

Orphan

Anonymous

Did you here the story about the eel ? It was shocking 😂😂😂😂😂

Night

Anonymous

Susie was in her mother’s room one night. As her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse, her boobs plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will i get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few year’s. Her mother told susie to find her father and say goodnight. So susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering . Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father’s dick. Shocked, susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, he said susie would get it after her mother went to bed .

Stop

Anonymous

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. – They all looked shocked when I didn’t stop.

Believing

Anonymous

ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING youtuber! (i cant believe he is still alive!)

Puns

Person

Confucius say, man who bite electric wire get shocking experience.

Puns

General Kenobi

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Puns

Anonymous

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking.

Man

Random

People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says “A Scratch, Your Arm is off your body!!”

Name

Gamer

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy. Yes, this joke is stolen.

Name

jack

jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy but, jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock and jills real name was randy

Name

BLACKJESUSCHRIST

Jack and Jill went upthe hill so Jack could lick Jills Candy. Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because jills real name is randy, and she had no candy just he gave jack a handy.

Girlfriend

Girlfriend

My girlfriend passed away recently.

at the funeral everyone was shocked about it

Still even when dead she is the best shag I’ve ever known

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