Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
Dark Humor
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
