Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Your dad's a cunt.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
