Magazine jokes

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

What do cannibals read?

People.

Digest Readers.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!

I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!

Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?

Because that's the average class size in America.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

The students at Columbine needed books, but all they got were magazines.

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

What's a gun's favorite type of literature?

Magazine.

The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?

She was ape-ril!