My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
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Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, buttercup. This joke is dark because it's implying the girlfriend is a "two", as in, on a scale of attractiveness. And tomorrow she's turning three years old. You probably didn't get it because you are probably as dense as a neutron star. Did you know that your brain uses about 20% of your body's energy? Maybe that's why you are always tired.