Clothing jokes
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.