Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
