Clothing jokes
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!