Clothing jokes
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."