Call jokes
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.