Call jokes
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.