Call jokes
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
Why is a group of Uchiha not called the Sharingang?
Why?
Because they're all Sharing... GONE :)
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.