Call jokes

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.

There is a feminist group in my town.

It is called Gal-Qaeda.

(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

- A VEGUN.

There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.

Dad: What's boofa?

Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.

What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!

What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

What do you call someone smart and dead?

Stephen Hawking...

What do you call a German man who can't see?

A not see.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?

Down Quijote.

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Why did a bisexual man wanted a physically handicapped ♿ 👨‍💼 👨 👬 gay man to give him a anonymous blowjob under the stall inside the men'restroom 🚻 🚹 at a restarea? because getting a blowjob from a call girl 👧 cost $75.00 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.