Call jokes
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Hee hee
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What do you call a dirty Mexican?
A chulo.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?
Lil Drip.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."