Call jokes
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped? Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said... “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes? The Inbredibles.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.