Call

Call jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Racist

What do you call a Black Iron Man?

Robert Browny Jr.

Wheelchair

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

Yeast infection

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

ADHD

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

Irish

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

Blonde

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

Sex

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Orphan

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Michael Jackson

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

Democrat

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Chinese

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

Special

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

Scoliosis

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.