Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
"Hee hee touched me."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a teleBONE.
knock, knock who's there? An armless person why? they got stumped on why they contacted you
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer. I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
How does in-mates keep in touch? They have cell phone.
