Yes I’m CUTE
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
By:Xzavier
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Yḱnow how in pinocchio the french puppets have the thigh rings? Well I got em too! Only red and thinner.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common? They both died with red rings
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.
How do you name an asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Why do Nazis don’t wear necklaces,rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor? Because it got every bodys pokes!
What is Saturn’s favorite movie?
Lord of the rings
what song does Saturn sing ?
'if you like it then you should have put a ring on it '
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
