Call jokes
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)