Call jokes
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!