What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
Call Jokes
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
