Call jokes

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?

Super Smash Bros.

You call, I'm putting on.

Frank (34) DJ.

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?

A steamed vegetable.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

What do you call a retreat in war?

A backup plan.

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

Q: What has two wings and a halo?

A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't know who to call daddy.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?

Anonymouse.