Aed jokes
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”