Aed jokes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

That is not a joke hahahahhaha.

If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!

I'd be a liar.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)

What do you call a flying skunk?

A smelicopter.

What do you call a flying sheep?

A muttonbird.

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?

A) Cancer.

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.

I am a fat girl.

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.

Well, that was a blow up!