Aed jokes
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
Did Mary Have a Little Lamb?
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?"