Republican

Republican Jokes

Ted Cruz

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

Gun

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

Million

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

Election

Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.

A news article with the headline: 4D Chess: Democrats Admit Trump Actually Won In 2020 And Is Now Unable To Serve Third Term. Below the headline is the text: POLITICS - Nov 7, 2024 - BabylonBee.com. Underneath is an image of several politicians standing at a podium with the US flag behind them. The woman at the podium is speaking.

Welfare

Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?

Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!

Transgender People

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

Immigration

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

Felon

Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?

Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!

Glory Hole

What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?

Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.

Impeachment

Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

Donald Trump

Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?

He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!

Libertarian

What is a yellow dog Libertarian?

A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽

Convention

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

Gun

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

Nationalist

What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

Christian nationalist

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Condom

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

Politics

"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon