My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

Babies can spread a nasty smell,

especially when you haven’t fed them for a month.

so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?

New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk

Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment…

I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

What did the right eye say to the left?—Between you and me, something smells!

What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

You smell like tap water and cornflakes

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

What does a pizza delivery man and a ginacologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can’t eat it

if your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top-of-ya

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

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