Smell Jokes

Anonymous

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

Anonymous
in Puns

New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk

Anonymous
in Sea

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

dankmemester

so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?

3
Anonymous

Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment…

Arthur
in Clown

If a clown farted, would it smell funny?

Ms Graves
in Offensive

What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger

6
MajorOstrich
in Sister

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

2
Anonymous

Babies can spread a nasty smell,

especially when you haven’t fed them for a month.

2
dan
in Penaldo

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡

Anonymous
in Bad

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint
Ralph Wiggum

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!”

Did you know that new Teslas don’t come with the new car smell?

The come with an Elon Musk.

Anonymous
in ADD

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. “Are those brownies, I smell?”, he asks. “Indeed, they are.”, he was told. “Gee”, he says, “they smell nothing like Girl Scouts.”

Bignig

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

1
Noah

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

4
Anonymous
in Dwarf

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

Anonymous
in Computer

I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

boopadoopadudat
in Ex

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

0