Smell

Smell Jokes

Funeral

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.

Boat

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

Tesla

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.

Chloroform

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

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  • Dwarf

    When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

    When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

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  • Eye

    What did the right eye say to the left eye?

    "Between you and me, something smells!"

    Penis

    Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

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  • Broccoli

    So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

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  • Baby

    Babies can spread a nasty smell,

    especially when you haven't fed them for a month.

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  • Cheese

    After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.

    Priest

    A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

    The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

    The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

    The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

    Butt

    What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

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  • Date

    I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

    I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

    Brownie

    Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

    "Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

    "Indeed, they are," he was told.

    "Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

    Gynecologist

    What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?

    They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.

    Fart

    An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

    A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."

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  • COVID test

    Home Covid Test.

    1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

    2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

    3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

    Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

    I am so nervous.