Smell jokes
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
Fraser smells.
What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's fingers!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.