Aed jokes

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

Why did the bean play Fortnite?

Because it had a beantroller.

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.

According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.

Mars-1

Africa-0

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

My girlfriend is like treasure to me.

You need a shovel to find her.

Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.

Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?

Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.

You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.