Aed jokes
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.