Aed jokes
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.