Aed jokes
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
She really wanted a boner.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"