Aed jokes
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.