I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What's a pirate's favourite letter?
(People will then say r)
Arrr, you think it be r but really it's the C that they love.
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material and your internet will be cut off.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
i have a jock about paper its tearable
Whats the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked
Velcro is such a rip-off
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
Whatβs the difference from Cotten and an orphan
One gets picked
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".
"do you know the differance between wallpaper and toilet paper" replys "no" "gross"
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
