Aed jokes

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Why is Saturn richer than other planets?

It has a ring!

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

What do you call a stoner when horny?

A weed whacker!

Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

Where does a pianist go on vacation?

The Florida Keys.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”