Aed jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.