Glass

Glass Jokes

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.

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Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

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A burgur walks into a bar and says: "Hi sir can I have a glass of water?" And the waiter says: "I'm sorry sir we don't serve food here,"

What does a glass of water ask a pond? Water you doing? What does the pond answer? Pondering life.

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.