Aed jokes
What is an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.