Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
My fish can break dance. only for 20 seconds and only once.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
My day started out great until I woke up
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
GO ON THE QUINTILLIONAIRE MORNING ROUTINE NOW!
1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat 4. Get out of bed 5. Have breakfast
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
You know if you Poo on the toilet at 11:59 pm... then at 12:01 am, its just the same shit , different day.....
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6AM but wake up at 7AM. And it's not even a joke.
the first ever joke : https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning
how does an indian open his car
boot boot (in an indian accent)
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist after being there for a while, the dentist ask “ How of do you floss your teeth? The jap said “ after every meal”, when they finish up the dentist turns to him and “says you need to floss your eyes more, I can still see them”
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
