What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists? Nothing, I cut both of them

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself

What do you call a cow eating grass? - A Lawn Moo-er

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

I wish my lawn was emo, because than it would cut itself.

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

a lawn mooer

We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.

What do you het when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

Why did God make men? Because you can’t teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn… =^…^=

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo. Because then it would cut itself

A Lew runs into a wall what does he break? His Nose

A Mexican runs into a wall what does he break? His lawn Mower

Things said by racist aliens:

“Some of my best friends are Green.”

“I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.”

“You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.”

“We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!”

“Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.”

“You 2-headed people are so stupid!”

“No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.”

“Get the hell out of my store you grigger!”

“The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

Things said by racist aliens:

“Some of my best friends are Green.” “I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.” “You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.” “We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!” “Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.” “You 2-headed people are so stupid!” “No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.” “Get out of my store you grigger!” “The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”