Lawn jokes

What is the Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.

How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"

The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"

And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"

The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"

Johnny replied with, "OK."

Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A Lawn Moo-er.

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

I wish all my grass was emo.

It would cut itself.

Why did God make men?

Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.

I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.

I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"

A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.