Aed jokes
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.