Aed jokes
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
What is an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.