Aed jokes

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

What do you call a surprised Asian?

Ho Lee Fuc.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?

Others: R.

Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.

Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣