What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag

One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?”

The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “Ive kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because their family size.

Teacher: your bag is heavy what’s in there!

Weird Kid: Magazines

Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

The teacher of the ELA class sead that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next ot the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he sead, Me im going home. Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and sead,“At the end of this ruler is a idiot”, he got suspended for asking witch end.

For orphans every bag of chips is family size

A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.

what do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag

A Twix

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”

“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”

“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”

“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”

“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”

my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”

H: walks into bedroom Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

Later that day

W: walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

what’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.

[god creating a jellyfish] God: how about an evil bag

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