Summer jokes
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
How do rappers stay cool during summer?
They throw SHADE.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt? She was on fire.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
Have a good summer!
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.