Homeless People jokes
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
Who has no home?
Orphans.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
Homeless people live on rocks.
Non-homeless people live in rocks.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
If you are homeless, get a home.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Orphans have no home.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.