Aed jokes
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
A flirting tip for the boys
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...