Aed jokes

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.

Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What's a fish's least favorite instrument?

A ClariNET!

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.