Aed jokes
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?